


Betrayals and Coping Mechanisms

by Llama1412



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Gen, M/M, Magic Revealed, Merlin's Magic Revealed (Merlin)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-28
Updated: 2011-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:53:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23307886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Llama1412/pseuds/Llama1412
Summary: When Merlin's magic is revealed and he is forced to leave Camelot, Arthur has to learn to cope... as well as decide if he still wants to associate with him.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Betrayals and Coping Mechanisms

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress. I don't know when it'll be taken up again, but I figured I'd get it out there.
> 
> Originally posted on livejournal in 2011. Posted unedited.

Morgana, believing herself to be the expert on all things, declared to Arthur that he should write letters. Why? Because they could help him cope with emotional trauma.

Of course, he told her that it was all a load of bollocks and to go brush her hair, but the advice lingered over the years. Not that the ever used it, of course. He didn't go through 'emotional trauma'; he was a knight. They didn't have emotions. Well, they never admitted to having them, anyway.

Then Merlin revealed himself to be a sorcerer in front of the entire royal court and vanished. Arthur definitely had emotions then. And they weren't good emotions either.

He didn't have anyone to bitch and rage to. His usual outlet for such things was the cause of his current dilemma. He could rant at his father or Morgana, but they each stood so firmly on different sides of the pendulum, that Arthur was fairly sure it wouldn't help him reach his own decision.

Because the thing was, he understood both sides of their arguments. Merlin had betrayed him. He'd used magic, been using magic, the entire time he'd been in Camelot. But he'd been using magic to save Arthur's life. How could that be bad? Except it was _magic_ , so of course it was bad.

But neither of them really understood what hurt so much about Merlin's betrayal. They had been friends, confidants. They knew more about each other than anyone else did. Or so he'd thought. Had all the time he'd spent with Merlin been a lie? Was everything he knew about his servant false? Had Merlin ever even cared or did he save Arthur because he wanted a king he could control later on?

He couldn't talk to anyone about these things. Everyone had an opinion, of course, most of them being a general consensus of, 'give him a chance'. But Merlin had had his chance, hadn't he? The only thing Arthur couldn't figure out was how he'd used it.

So, letters is was. Not that Morgana would ever hear about these. Or anyone else. He would try it, see if they helped, and then lock them away in a chest in the corner of his chambers. Or burn them. Yeah, burning them might be a good idea.

_Merlin,_

_How long have you been a sorcerer? Was your whole time in Camelot just a ploy to put a pawn on the throne?_

_You forced me to give you trust, acceptance,_ friendship _, but did you ever give me any in return?_

_I thought I knew you. I thought you were so many things to me. Was any of it true? Do I know anything about you at all?_

_How could you lie to me like this? Do you know how hard it is for me to trust people in the first place? How can I ever trust anyone again if this is what happens?_

_Are you evil? You're a sorcerer so you must be, but...are you still Merlin? Did I know anything about you? Can I believe that you aren't like other sorcerers?_

_Well, of course you aren't. You aren't like anyone. Is that good or bad? Are you worse than all the others that have plotted the downfall of Camelot, or are you better? Surely you hate my father, me, for all we've done to sorcerers. Why did you come to Camelot? Why did you stay? Was it all a ploy? Do you actually care?_

_Why did you save me?_

Arthur stared at the parchment feeling raw and helpless. He hadn't cleared anything up. He still didn't know how he felt about Merlin's betrayal.

Morgana's advice had obviously been useless. Maybe it worked for girls with all their emotions, but it sure didn't help Arthur. He should just dispose of the stupid thing and pretend this had never happened.

Except he couldn't burn it. Something stayed his hand each time he tried. He'd poured his heart out to this useless scrap of parchment. He didn't want all those questions to burn and fester. No, he wanted answers. He wanted to know why Merlin had done it all.

But how could he ever get those answers. Merlin was gone. If Arthur ever saw him again, it would probably be for his execution. Oh god, his _execution_!

Arthur sat down heavily. He didn't want to think about that. Merlin had escaped in the blink of an eye. Surely he wouldn't ever be caught and executed. Merlin had better self-preservation instincts than that.

Except he really didn't. He was, after all, the sorcerer who had been living in Camelot for years.

Arthur shook his head. He wouldn't think about this. He rose and tucked the letter away in an old chest, burying it deep where no one would ever look.

\--

When he came back from a manhunt for Merlin, all he wanted was to tumble into bed and forget everything. He didn't want to think about how scared he was that they might catch Merlin or how scared he was that they might not. He didn't want to think about Merlin's execution or the possibility that he would never see him again. He was a _sorcerer_! Arthur shouldn't _want_ to ever see him again!

He did. Fuck, he really did. He didn't know what he would ever do if he saw Merlin, but he really, really wanted to see him.

Before he knew what he was doing, he was sitting at his table in the soft glow of the fire – gods, a fire. Would it consume Merlin like it had so many others? – and writing out another stupid letter.

_What have you done to me? Have you cast a spell on me? Why can't I stop thinking about you, fearing for you?_

_I should want you dead. You betrayed me, you lied to me, and you are a sorcerer. I should want to see you burn in revenge._

_Why am I so afraid of your death? Why do I so fear that I might be the cause of it? I shouldn't care, Merlin. I'm not supposed to care._

_Why did you make me care?_

As soon as he was done writing, Arthur had the letter crumpled into a ball, ready to be thrown into the fire. Would it twist and scream like sorcerers on a stake did? Would it sounds like Merlin?

Feeling strangely despairing and short of breath, Arthur grabbed the water jug and threw its contents at the fire. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't sit idly by a fire a contemplate Merlin's death.

He threw the letter in the direction of the chest and ordered up a skin of wine. If he drank enough, maybe he would forget why he was drowning his sorrows in the first place.

\--

The letter wasn't there. He knew he'd thrown it over there last night, knew where it had landed, but it wasn't there. No one had entered his chambers. His door had remained locked firmly shut, the dishes still sitting in a heap on the table. No maid had come through yet.

So where was the letter?

Frantic, he searched his entire chambers top to bottom, his efforts unaided by the constant pounding in his head from too much wine drunk. The letter was no where to be found.

He flung open the chest and hauled its contents out around the room. The other letter was still there. Arthur grabbed the parchment and unrolled it with haste.

The letter was exactly as he'd left it, except for an added note at the bottom.

_Arthur,_

_I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I know I lied to you. I know I betrayed your trust in me. But if you can find it in yourself, please believe this._

_Nothing I ever did was a ploy. All I wanted to do was protect you. You will make a great king, but so many people have tried to stop you. All I did was keep them from doing so._

_I swear to you, I never wanted to lie to you. I do trust you, however odd that may sound, and most of what you know about me is true, just with the added element of magic._

_I can't tell you how much it hurt hiding this from you and I guess you wouldn't believe me anyway. I am so, so sorry that I've hurt you as well._

_You probably don't want to hear this. Hell, I don't know if you'll ever even read this, but I hope you do. I want you to know._

_I saved you because I love you. I'm sorry._

Arthur sat on the floor staring blankly at the letter in his hand for a long time. This was...how was it even possible? How was Merlin even receiving his letters?

He should feel violated, it occurred to him. After all, he hadn't written the letters with the intention of sending them and Merlin had no right to read them, any of them.

But...he had wanted Merlin to answer his questions. And how else would he have been able to if Merlin never saw the letter? If they met in person again, the law would be too much of a barrier for questions to be answered. This was better.

And maybe...maybe it was good that Merlin was seeing his true thoughts written out without the filter of his brain. The situation already allowed for too many cases of misunderstanding. He didn't want to add to that with his pride.

It was scary, the idea that he was leaving himself vulnerable, especially to Merlin, who had betrayed him. But wasn't Merlin revealing just as much of himself as well? And...Merlin loved him. He wasn't sure how he felt about that.

Except that, well, it was _Merlin_. Maybe he hadn't realized that love was a good name for it before, but the way they'd interacted had always been different. There had certainly been an intimacy between them that was lacking with anyone else. So really, it wasn't as much of a surprise as he would've expected, this oath of love. Instead, it felt almost fitting.

_Merlin,_

_Should I even ask how you're doing this? Would you tell me if I did or would another lie fall from your lips?_

_I can't seem to hate you for what you've done, but I can't forgive you, either. I have never let someone into my life like I let you and you threw that away._

_Even so, I don't want to see you dead. You're probably the most incompetent sorcerer out there, anyway. Or are you? You claim to have protected me from many threats. Just how powerful are you? How do you intend to use your powers? If I allowed myself to believe that you only want to use them for good, would I be setting myself up for another betrayal? Would you let me hopelessly recast my faith in you, only to see it fail?_

_My father's men are hunting you religiously. Your prolonged presence in Camelot has served as a personal affront to the king and he will hunt you as far as he can._

_I can't believe I'm writing this, but...I'm leading a patrol through the northern woods towards Ealdor. Don't be there._

Arthur's hands were shaking as he put the letter in the chest with the first one. He was, essentially, committing treason. He was betraying Camelot's plans to the enemy. How was it possible that his prominent concern was that Merlin would take the news as a challenge and purposely be where Arthur was going?

'Please,' he prayed. 'Please don't let Merlin be there.'

\--

"You seem happier."

Arthur threw Morgana an incredulous look. He'd just return from a patrol where the gods had seen fit to release torrential rain and mud upon them. He was trying not to think about the possibility that the gods had had a little help.

"No, really," she said, "it sounds odd, but you seem more at peace now. Have you..." she glanced over her shoulder to check that they were alone, "have you come to a decision about Merlin?"

Arthur stared at her. She wore that look she had where she was afraid but determined not to let anyone see it. He sighed, "this is Camelot, Morgana. The laws are made by the king and they are final. Any decision I make changes nothing."

"Perhaps not," she responded eventually. "But it might make a difference to Merlin," her voice was a whisper.

He did not look at her. "What would it matter? How would he ever know such a decision?"

Her lips curved into a mysterious smile, "don't question destiny, Arthur. If it's meant to happen, it will happen."

\--

There was paper lying crumpled on the floor, exactly where he'd previously left a letter. Miraculously, none of the cleaning staff that had been through his chambers and cleaned it thoroughly had noticed the letter, nor moved it.

'Magic,' he thought with a roll of his eyes before freezing. He'd just...how could he think of magic so lightly? It was an evil that had plagued Camelot for too long. How could he ever view it with such levity?

But...it was magic in Merlin's hands. And really, he'd seen Merlin's ideas of cunning. They involved feeding his breakfast to the dogs and leaving dust bunnies in his boots. In fact, how had he ever thought Merlin could be evil when those were the sad products of his revenge?

Maybe it would be okay to view magic with slightly less fear and hate than before. He might regret it, but it seemed he was willing to put a little bit of trust in Merlin, even after all he'd done. He wondered what that might mean.

He shook his head to clear such thoughts and hurried over to unfold the wad of parchment. At the bottom, Merlin had added his comment once more.

_Arthur,_

_I suppose you're expecting an apology, but I can't regret the idea of you caring. I haven't cast a spell on you, I would never violate you like that._

_I have to admit to being happy that you fear for me, but I trust you, Arthur. I don't believe that you will be my death._

Arthur swallowed. How could a sorcerer trust a Pendragon with their life? It didn't make any sense.

He moved to the chest to put this letter in and to check if the other had been answered.

It had.

_Arthur,_

_I don't actually know how I'm doing this or I would tell you. I don't want to lie to you anymore. Honestly, though, the first letter just kind of showed up on my bed (okay, so it's not really a bed, but we're not all spoiled princes, so I won't be picky). I didn't know that it would be from you. I didn't expect it, certainly. I'm sorry if you don't want me to read them. I'm not sure how they're appearing here or how they're being sent back, exactly, but I could probably manage to send them back without reading them, though, if you want. Well, I mean, except for the next letter to see if you want me to not read them anymore._

_I never wanted to make you regret trusting me, Arthur. I know how much you let me in and I definitely appreciate it. Every day, I wished I could respond in turn. I tried, as much as I could. I tried telling you about my life, about my past, but the truth is that magic makes up so much of my life that I couldn't tell you much._

_I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you._

_You asked how powerful I was. The thing is, I don't really know. More than a few people have told me that I am an embodiment of the Old Religion, whatever that may mean. They've said that there has never been another like me. I have a lot of raw power, I guess. Magic is literally just under the surface for me and apparently it's not like that for others. But I don't really know how to use it. A lot of times, I just kind of will something and hope for the best. It's all kind of instinctual, you know? I've tried to learn spells to help refine my magic. From what I can tell, the words help guide the magic with more direction. I guess I've used some pretty powerful spells, but I've also failed some pretty simple ones. Actually, the main times the powerful spells have worked have been when they were used to save your life. Otherwise, I can put as much magic and concentration and energy into it as I can and it still won't work._

_I don't know if you'll believe when I say I would never betray your trust, but...I really, really don't ever want to betray your trust. I know that I've failed once and that I maybe don't deserve another chance, but...if you decide to give me one, I will try with all my being never to let you down again._

_On the note of the warning, thanks for the notice, but, um...does your father really think that I'd go back to Ealdor? I know he thinks I'm a total idiot, but really, I would've expected that to be the first place you looked. By the way, you'd better be polite to my mother or I'll find a way to feed you rat stew again._

Before Arthur could really digest Merlin's message – how on earth had he managed to fit such a long message onto the paper, anyway? There hadn't been a lot of room left after Arthur's note. Oh, right, magic – Morgana unceremoniously burst through the door.

"Morgana!" Arthur scrambled to his feet, quickly stuffing the letter into the chest. He couldn't slam the lid down without her noticing, but he might be lucky enough for her not to see the notes. "Haven't you ever heard of knocking!?"

She ignored him. "Uther sent men to Ealdor again. He said that he'd gotten a tip that Merlin was hiding with his mother. He's sent men to apprehend her."

Arthur's eyes went wide. "He can't! For one thing, that's Cendred's land! For another, really, Merlin isn't stupid enough to hide with his mother! He knows that's where we would look first!"

"So go tell your father that! And for the love of the gods, hurry. If he hurts Hunith, I wouldn't be surprised if Merlin killed him."

Arthur was running before Morgana had finished her sentence. He burst into the throne room to the sight of his father paying off a man Arthur didn't recognize. The tipper, he assumed. He hoped Morgana would take care of the cur as he likely wouldn't have a chance to do so himself.

"Father, may I have a word?" Uther waved the man away. "Morgana tells me you're sending men to Ealdor to apprehend Merlin's mother."

"Yes. I have it on good authority that the sorcerer is hiding there."

"I just patrolled there the other day, Father. Surely I would have caught him heading there."

"He is a sorcerer. Likely he used enchantments to hide himself from you. He is in the village, I am sure of it."

"Ealdor is in Cendred's kingdom, my lord. Would it not be prudent to withhold sending troops there for the moment. If Cendred perceives this as an act of war..."

"Then we tell Cendred the truth, that we are hunting a sorcerer and that the coward has taken refuge in his lands." Uther's eyes had taken on a slightly mad sheen.

"Father, I doubt Cendred would listen. Perhaps you should send an envoy first, to let him know of our intentions. He might apprehend Merlin for us. But we can't risk war, my lord. Our people wouldn't survive."

"Cendred would more likely take the sorcerer for himself. You know how he has plotted against us. No, we will not tell him. We are stronger than Cendred. His armies will stand no chance against our own."

Arthur stared at his father. Was he not listening? Was he not thinking clearly? They may be stronger, yes, but that didn't mean they could win the war! And all for one sorcerer that hadn't even attacked them? Hell, Merlin had _saved_ them, risking his own execution!

He bowed, his jaw clenched tight. "Of course, Father." There was no reasoning with him. Arthur would just have to fix this on his own and pray he didn't end up facing charges of treason.

\--

_Merlin,_

_This is extremely urgent, so you'd better get this fast._

_My father is sending men to Ealdor to apprehend your mother. Someone tipped him off that you were going there and he doesn't trust that my patrol would have seen you if you'd been going that way. You need to get your mother out of there._

_Actually, if you're able, it would be best if you could somehow stop the troops from reaching Ealdor at all. Cendred will likely view it as an act of war and even if not, I wouldn't trust that my father hasn't given the men orders to attack Ealdor should they not relinquish you immediately._

_I know this is a lot to ask of you. I know I'm committing treason asking you to use magic against Camelot's troops. But please, if you can, you must stop them. I will do what I can here, but my father will not listen to reason._

_Camelot cannot afford a war and Ealdor doesn't deserve one. Please, do what you can and for the love of the gods, stay safe. Please._

_Arthur_

He left the letter sitting on his table and locked his chambers behind him. He would have to move quickly to stop the troops. They would be slow, that many people, but Arthur couldn't risk failure.

First, though, he needed Morgana's help.

\--

"Please tell me you waylaid the man who tipped off my father," Arthur spoke without prompting. Considering the situation, he probably should have first checked that Morgana was alone. He was, after all, committing treason. Fortunately, he was fairly certain he could trust the wide-eyed Gwen and Gaius that sat with Morgana.

"As a matter of fact, I did." She waved him to a chair. "What's it to you?"

"What made him say that Merlin was in Ealdor?" He remained standing, too jittery to sit.

"He says Merlin mentioned that he always went to Ealdor when something went wrong; it was where he felt safe."

"That's bullshit. Merlin hasn't been to Ealdor more than once since he came here, so how would this guy know? Who is he, anyway? What made him the authority on Merlin?"

Gaius spoke, "apparently he claimed that Merlin had been a friend, but I know Merlin never spoke of him." His eyes showed Arthur that he was wary of the prince, but that he thought this information wouldn't hurt him.

"Did you tell my father that?" Arthur sighed, "nevermind, I doubt he would've listened. He's determined to catch Merlin, whatever the cost." He glanced out the window. The sun was already low in the sky. He would need to leave soon. "Morgana, can you look into why this man tipped off the king? Guinevere, if you could check the rumor mill to see if there's anything useful? Gaius, I need you to come up to an excuse for my father as to why I won't be here."

"Why, where are you going?" Morgana demanded.

"To stop the troops, of course. If they cross the border, we will likely find ourselves at war. If they reach Ealdor, they might not leave anyone alive. Merlin's not there, so they won't be able to bring him back, but if they tell the king that they killed everyone who might've helped him, the king will be pleased." The three of them looked stricken. Arthur shrugged, "it's happened before in his hunt for sorcerers." He left then, to collect necessities and saddle his horse.

He moved quickly, stuffing everything into a rucksack before donning his armor. It wasn't the best fit, considering he was putting it on alone, but he might end up fighting the troops and he would need armor. He forced aside the part of him that rebelled at his betrayal. He was considering fighting Camelot's troops! But he had to. They were going to kill innocent people and lead to the deaths of others. If he was lucky, he might be able to convince them their orders had changed. But then what? What if Uther punished them for not following orders? How would Uther punish Arthur for betraying him?

He couldn't think of that now. All he could do was keep moving.

Before he left, he checked the letter. Merlin hadn't responded yet.

\--

He rode faster than was probably advisable in the forest, but after three hours, he could hear the men ahead of him. They weren't stopping to set up camp, even though the sun had long since fallen.

He left the path, planning on circling around to cut them off. He didn't really have a plan, he was just going to do whatever came to him. Perhaps the gods would give him guidance. Perhaps Merlin would.

He was nearly in front of them when the mist set in. He could hear the company slow, carefully picking their way along the path and he was about to as well, knowing better than to lead his horse blindly, when he realized that he didn't need to. He could see the mist, could see it shrouding the area. And yet, he could also see _through_ the mist.

"Merlin," he breathed against the damp air. A smile curled his lips. The company was half a day from Ealdor, but if they had any sense at all, they wouldn't continue through the mist in the dark. Then again, if they had any sense, they wouldn't risk his father's displeasure, either, so maybe they wouldn't stop.

He swallowed. He would have to confront them. Even without his surcoat, emblazoned with his crest, the men were sure to recognize him. Would that be bad or good?

He rode forward, ready to cut them off. Only, suddenly, they weren't going forward anymore. In fact, they weren't moving together at all. The men were scattering off in all different directions, noises of confusion echoing in the fog. What was Merlin doing?

"They won't move forward." A voice whispered in his ear. Arthur jerked around, but he was alone. "They can't."

"Merlin!" He hissed, "come on, don't hide! I'm not going to hurt you or haul you back. Just...let me see you."

There was nothing for a long moment, but then the mist parted like a veil and his lanky servant stood before him. He looked skinnier, with dark smudges under his eyes. His clothing was torn and sticking to his skin, wet with the mist.

Arthur dismounted quickly and launched himself forward to draw Merlin into his arms. "Are you _hugging_ – ?" Merlin began, arms coming around Arthur.

"No. Shut up." Arthur buried his face in Merlin's neck. He sighed. "So...what did you do to them?" he asked Merlin's collarbone.

"Oh, um...I cast some sort of confusion spell on them. And a barrier. They can't move passed us, but...I don't know what else to do."

Arthur drew back with a deep exhale. "If they just can't reach Ealdor, they're going to report to my father that you're definitely here and doing magic, not to mention that you somehow know that we're here." He frowned, pacing agitatedly back and forth. "Can you..." he bit his lip, "can you mess with their memories? And my father's?"

Merlin stared at him. "I – what? Isn't that a really bad idea?"

"Probably. But it's the only way I can think of to ensure that more troops won't be sent here."

"I don't...I don't think I'll be able to perform that kind of magic from afar. I'd have to get close to Uther."

Arthur groaned. "Shit. Forget it, then. What else can we do?"

Merlin bit his lip and they both stared at the wandering troops. "You're right."

"I'm always right," Arthur said before he'd fully processed Merlin's response. "What? No! You can't go back to Camelot!"

"But you're right, Arthur. It's the only way not to get more troops sent to Ealdor. I can keep myself hidden, I promise."

"What, like invisibility?"

"Well, no, I don't know how to do that. But..."he gnawed on his lip, glancing warily at Arthur, "I can stop time."

"...what?"

"Only sometimes. Usually I slow it down rather than stop it, but I can stop it when someone's in trouble. If we go to Camelot, I'll be in trouble, right? So it should work."

"Should? Merlin, if you can't even be sure...if my father sees you, he will kill you where you stand."

Merlin's hands came up to grasp his shoulders. "I'll be fine. My magic has always worked for me. If I'm in trouble, I trust it to protect me. And you, always you. I can do this without Uther seeing that you're involved. Probably."

Arthur looked pained. Probably? _Probably_ , it wouldn't work. Then what would happen? Would he flee Camelot with Merlin? Would saving Ealdor be worth it?

Yes. He knew that answer without even thinking. Of course it was worth it. The people of Ealdor were his people, had been ever since he'd fought beside them against Kanen. He couldn't abandon them now anymore than he could allow Camelot to be led into war.

"All right," he swallowed. "All right, we're doing this." He gestured to the soldiers, "go ahead."

Merlin gave him wary look. "Maybe I should do this bit alone? I mean, you've been taught to hate magic, I get that. But I'm going to be using magic against your troops. I'd really rather not have you freak out about it while I'm in the middle of a complex spell. If I get it wrong, I could really fuck up their heads."

"I don't...I'm not going to 'freak out'. Honest. I wouldn't hurt you, Merlin. I can't."

"I know. But you can distract me, and you having hysterics definitely would."

Arthur frowned. "I would not get hysterical. Just do it, already, for fuck's sake."

Merlin bit his lip, uncertainty in his eyes, but Arthur was determined. He was going to see this through and he was going to show Merlin that he had no cause to fear him, ever.

Merlin closed his eyes, brow furrowed, for a long moment before letting out a deep breath and standing straight, widening his stance. He lifted an arm, palm facing the men of Camelot, and began speaking in a tone deeper than his usual voice.

Nothing happened.

Merlin's lips turned down, his jaw clenching. He said the words again, his eyes clouding with worry and frustration. Again, nothing happened.

Arthur stepped forward quietly, brushing his hand along Merlin's arm. The other man jumped, and Arthur pulled his hand back immediately.

"No, it's okay! I just – you surprised me." Merlin swallowed, "it's not working. I don't know why. I can feel the magic in me, just below the surface, feel it ready to act, but it's. not. Working."

Arthur stepped forward again, this time careful to keep his hands in Merlin's line of view. His fingers wrapped around Merlin's forearms, the material coarse and worn under his touch. "You're thinking too hard. You said this magic lark is natural for you, that it's instinctual and that words simply refine it. So relax. You have to power to do this. I trust you."

Merlin's wide eyes met his, his mouth opening to utter the words again. Arthur sucked in a quick gasp through his teeth. Merlin's irises _glowed_. He could see the magic swirling in Merlin's eyes, see the gold illuminate his face, lined with concentration and simple bliss at using this power of his.

"Oh my god," Arthur choked.

"It's done," Merlin said, arm dropping and eyes fading back to blue. "Your troops don't recall why they're here, but they think it might be a hunting mission."

"They're in full armor."

Merlin shrugged, "they don't know that. Anyway, I still have to do that to Uther, if you're sure. I mean, this is the king we're talking about casting a spell on here. I could just make it so that no one can get passed the border or something, if you don't want me to do that to your father."

Arthur shook his head. "He'll wonder why his men don't remember his orders. He'll fear the power you have over them and hunt you down even harder. No, he has to forget that he ever sent them for you."

Merlin nodded. "Are you all right? I mean, really?"

"I'm fine," Arthur rolled his eyes, realizing as he did so that it was true. He really did feel just fine. Merlin's magic...it wasn't something to be feared. It was beautiful, an ethereal phenomenon that Arthur was blessed to have witnessed. How could he ever believe that those eyes would do him wrong?

No, he was fine, fine with Merlin's magic. Because if Merlin could look that happy using it, look that _right_ , then how could it be anything bad?

"I'm fine," he repeated with a smile. "Come on, you can ride with me. We need to get back to Camelot before the men."

"Ride...with you?" He gave the horse a dubious look. "He doesn't like me."

"He likes you just fine. Besides, he trusts me and I'll be the one steering him, anyway. The saddle can fit us both." He nodded Merlin forward, "you'll sit in front of me. I've seen how awful you are on a horse, you'd probably fall off the back."

"Only because your fat arse would take up the saddle."

"I'm sorry, Merlin, what was that? You want to walk back to Camelot? I'm sure that's an excellent idea. You think you can keep up with a horse?"

Merlin stuck his tongue out, but mounted the horse. Arthur, smirking, pulled himself up behind him and took the reins, wrapping his arms around Merlin to rest on the horn of the saddle.

"Thank you," Merlin murmured, leaning back onto Arthur's chest.


End file.
